For some of us, February 14 is just another day, for me a Thursday that I have a business meeting with my boss. But it’s a day others look forward to each year. Whether you’re indifferent, upset, or excited, there are some things you just shouldn’t do on this lovers’ day:
1. Go on a first date.
I would like to shake my fist at whoever suggests this as a way to spend Valentine’s Day. First dates are hard enough as it is without the added pressure of taking place on a holiday like this. Chances are you’ll either spend the evening with false expectations, hoping he’s “The One,” or you’ll spend the night miserable and wishing you were home in your pajamas. Valentine’s Day is NOT the day to take a dating risk. Reschedule for the next day and question his sanity if going out on Valentine’s Day was his idea.
There is nothing worse than hearing someone spend all day complaining about their lack of prospects, heartache, or ticking biological clock. Save yourself some dignity, throw out a few snarky jokes about being single if you must, and then save it for your journal. Negativity begets negativity and you will feel the effects of being a downer all day. And so will everyone around you.
3. Call your ex. ABORT!
I repeat, ABORT! If you are considering this as you look tearfully out your bedroom window with The Holiday soundtrack playing in the background, ABORT! On a day like this it’s natural to have your thoughts drift to the last person you were with, but you broke up for a reason and even Cupid can’t create a day big enough to change that. Avoid the Valentine’s Day emotional hangover and don’t attempt a reconnect.
4. Get Drunk.
The last thing you need to do is drink your way out of this holiday. While it is perfectly acceptable (andfun!) to dress up and go out with your girlfriends on V-Day, don’t channel your energy into taking ‘shots’. Remember, this is just another day on the calendar and you taking four tequila shots are not going to fix anything about your love life. If tequila can’t, whiskey won’t either, nor Vodka or beer. My point is Getting Drunk isn’t gonna change your status from single!
5. Take yourself for granted.
This is a big one. Do whatever it takes to get perspective on life amidst the flower, candy, and romance-induced mayhem. Your worth and value as a human being and sister, daughter, friend is in no way influenced by your relationship status. Keep your chin up and focus on what you have accomplished this year or what you hope to accomplish in the future. You are loved and valued for more than your ability to snag a significant other.
6. Be alone.
The chances of the above “not to-dos” occurring is exponentially higher if you’re alone on Valentine’s Day. Gather with friends over dinner. Get some pals and go see a flick. Open a bottle of champagne with your best friend. Do whatever it takes to surround yourself with love. This is one of the best ways to ensure you spend the night having fun and focusing on the wonderful, non-romantic loves in your life. If you’re like me, Play Station will do the trick.
7. Overlook the good in your life.
This one goes along with the “taking yourself for granted” no-no. Although it’s easy to be swept up by romantic comedies, candlelight dinners, past lovers, roses, chocolates, teddy bears, and diamonds, there is much in life that is equally–if not more–important. Try making a list of blessings in your life. From “roof over my head” to “amazing nail polish collection,” pen all of the things in your life that make it excellent. We need reminders of this every day and not just Valentine’s Day.
At the end of the day, what really matters is a healthy perspective on February 14 and all that comes along with it. In no way do I mean to imply that this should be a day of doom and gloom to those of us who are not currently in a relationship, but I offer this list as an opportunity to maintain perspective amidst a wildly commercial day focused on romantic love. Cheers to a day full of love–in whatever way it reveals itself to you! [care2]