myweku.com

Column: Secret Diary of a New Business Surviving Nigeria

DAY 33: No painter. No table. No Chair and Erratic electricity supply. Each time light goes I have only one hour battery reserve to get any work done on my laptop. This is nonsense!

DAY 34: No painter. No carpenter. No office desk or chair. No electricity. Uncharged mobile phone and laptop. No real work done!!!

DAY 35: New painter. Lopsided table and legless chair. Epileptic supply of electricity – NEPA has mistaken our house for a Christmas tree! They take light and bring it as they will, it must be a beautiful sight from their head office! My carpenter turns up with nothing that resembles the chair and table he showed me in his glossy “Ikea” catalogue. I refuse the legless chair and seesaw looking table but my seventy year old security guard pleads on the carpenter’s behalf and promises me that if I let them deliver the wobbly table and legless chair to my flat he will ensure they come and fix it properly the next day.

DAY 36: No carpenter. No electricity. Limited work done. No new business.

I have quickly learnt that a generator is not an option but a necessity in Nigeria even though I have no electrical appliances in my house apart from my laptop, mobile phone and printer I am now forced to buy a generator as it is slowing down my ability to market my new business. I buy a less than 1KVA generator for N19,000 this will help supply electricity to just the light bulbs and fan in my flat. When I get home I ask the seventy year old security guard if NEPA has brought light he says no. Annoyed I swear at NEPA under my breath and the security guard consoles me saying “Aunty no worry now…” Then as if to cheer me up he adds “you don win NEPA! look now… you don buy generator…NEPA don lose o! NEPA don shame!!.” The old security guard then starts to do a little dance around the generator singing “Aunty don win o! NEPA don shame!!” I am encouraged the generator will be installed tomorrow morning.

DAY 40: Generator blasting. Still no carpenter in sight so I prop my Legless chair on top of two “N8,000” paint buckets, place my laptop on the wobbly table and continue working! Against all the odds we are winning!