Ok so… there is a Whitney Houston song that asks “ where do broken hearts go?”, every time my relationships end I remember this song and for as many times as I have get to the end of a relationship I think I should know the answer by now but I am afraid I disappoint you for I am none the wiser!
What I do know and am very good at with all the practice I have earned is checking out of heartbreak hotel real quick. Here are some useful tips to leave the dust behind:
1. You need to know what works for you when you get that all too familiar sad feeling… I have learnt that long walks are a good place to lose the pain and find one’s self again. It helps you think and rethink but the real secret to this remedy is that you finally walk home so tired you go straight to bed (if you like learn a lesson from the ancient yorubas that forbids a widower to sleep alone the night his wife is buried as he may lose his mind. For the first few nights there is no shame in sleeping in a close platonic friends bed if it makes you feel better) and when you wake up the next morning you again busy yourself with what the day has to offer
2. Another good one is hidden in your cell phone. At times like that look through the address book for your old friends the ones you can talk to (not necessary about your misery) but just talk crap with. I have a couple of old secondary school friends that I call up and make them tell me about what’s happening in their lives. They tell me of all the things that are bugging them e.g. money worries, man drama, in-law jist etc. The secrete is that it must be a topic you know they would like to obsess about; one that you can talk about for hours and analyse to death. The distraction will do you good. Ok so that’s another hour’s shot of aesthetic to my aching heart and MTN made a whole heap of money from it but hey it beats lying in bed with a wet pillow any day!
3. Then you call up some old boyfriend or toaster that you have not spoken to for ages. I am talking of one that you probably had a really painful breakup with but you have since made up and become friends again. As you chat with him and notice the passion that you once felt for this guy is gone and that he no longer makes your heart go “gish gish” you remind yourself that there is still hope and the newly lost love will lose his significance in your life with the passing of time. Ok so sometimes there are boyfriends that we don’t talk to cos the breakup was just too messy so what you do here is what I call the “free at last” exercise, its really simple… you try hard to remember the things about him you had memorised eg his telephone number, or birthday or password or pin number etc. When you realise you can’t remember the details you thank God for deliverance and trust in Him that it will be only a matter of time before you forget this one’s details too.
4. If like me wine or other legal substances help numb the pain well then stock up and get your drink on till you are healed or temporaily suffer from amnesia!
5. Get stuck and struck with work. O yes, get yourself busy hopefully with something profitable like your job, business or developing a new hobby/skill. Something productive that will lead you to the sweetest revenge called success. Try not to make the new interest a new boy/girlfriend cos that rebound crap does not pay at all. It’s just part 2 of what you are going through now waiting to happen again.
6. Go back to the place you were before you got carried to a strange land. Return to the hair dressers, nail saloon, gym, library, your blog spot, photography etc any of the places where you were discovering yourself before you allowed yourself to be carried away and lost again!
7. Write a blog declaring to the world you are healed and tell them just how you received your deliverance then read it over and over again to yourself till you believe every word lol!
There is no pretending – heartbreak hotel sucks but I’d still rather pay the price today than later. Allow your heart to heal so that it can still nurture another. Your heart is the only instrument you need to create love again so look after it and keep it pure and simple. Remember folks… we meet to part and part to meet. May you only be reunited with lost love when your crown is shining bright!
This blog is dedicated to all who dare to love again…including you Ms. Abi